.... Vs The Clock

My deadline for issue #8 is today. I am going to miss it, but not by much. This is bad, but not terrible. I started this project as a learning experience, and I am learning a hell of a lot.

The story that I am writing is a about a man trying to be a superhero. The idea is that his progress at being a superhero will mirror my progress at writing a superhero. So far it has been working out pretty well.

The intentional parallels are very nice, and work well whether or not any reader ever notices them. The real fun for me, though, is when things pop out at me that I did not initially intend to include.

For example, the reason that I am late with this issue is because it is moving toward a definite ending. Two characters and a story arc WILL END within these next few pages. I know how it is going to happen, but I am afraid of doing it. I am afraid that I will bungle the execution, and I am afraid of what will happen after.

Each page brings me closer to that uncertainty, so the longer I can stall it, the longer I can exist in a state of pre-determined purpose.

And guess what the characters are going through in the scenes that I am writing. Exactly that. They are comfortable with DOING when it means going after a bad guy or racing to a new fight... but the lingering dread that every step brings them closer to a conclusion eventually becomes paralyzing.

So take a guess what has been happening to me as I wrote those scenes.

Same thing! The allegory holds!

So last night I was at the scene where the final decision is being made. To be or not to be. And I was afraid to start it. Starting is the first step toward finishing. And finishing one thing leads to the uncertainty of the next thing.

The thing that made my characters move is the same thing that made me move. A ticking clock. For them it is a countdown. For me it is Celtx's session timer. When I see that number going up, adding seconds... and I am not adding words.... I just start typing. If it sucks, I can come back and change it. I just need to fight that clock..... and so do my characters.