Page 1. I've already told you how much I like this page. Though, I am thinking that you might have to be put on "moon ban" for a while. We just see that thing up there too often. I think there are more interesting things you can do with the sky. -Josh
DO YOU WNAT ME TO REMOVE MOON? WHAT ELSE CAN I DO WITH SKY BESIDES AIRPLANES AND CLOUDS? -KAV
I think this moon is ok for now. But just put your thumb over it and see how it looks without. Go with whatever you like better. As for what else you can do with the sky... look outside. Whatever the sky is doing, do that! Can you think of way to show the various stages between night and day? -Josh
that would involve some hatching which can look pretty cheesy- i'll think on this. i looked at the sky outside and all i saw was some clouds, a bird and 2 saucer-like craft....
Page 2. This is where the "stable" 90degree images really stand out. Especially with the really rigid 6 panel grid. It makes the whole theme feel robotic. Panel 2 especially. The flat angle actually destroys the depth of this scene. It makes it look like the couch is printed on the wall. -Josh
WANT ME TO CHANGE PANEL 2 OR JUST MOVE FORWARD FROM HERE-I'M DOING ANGLES NOW IN FUTURE PAGES. -KAV
I don't think it kills the page or the scene. I think it will be ok as is. If you suddenly think of some easy way to add that depth, go for it. If not, I think it's fine. -Josh
Great page. That flat lay-out shows up again in the last panel. Here it looks a little odd next to the angled book shelf. A more skewed angle might show this emotional frustration and collapse a little better. -Josh
I CAN ANGLE THE FAR WALL OR SHOULD I LET IT GO? -Kav
That is one I might think about changing. That page is all about his emotional state, so the less at ease he seems, the better the age will be. If you can easily do it, I say go ahead.
yeah I can easily do this and i think its worth doing
Page 4 looks awesome. Maybe a little effect drawing out that we are focused on the impact here, not just on kinetic's coolness.
Page 5 also looks great. The only thing that seems slightly off is the warm smile of his face in panel 3. It makes the seriousness of the voice-over seem insincere. He shouldn't look sad or grim, maybe neutral. -Josh
I THOUGHT OF THAT AND FIGURED SINCE HE'S WAVING HE IS TRYING TO BE PLEASANT LOOKING TO DUDE HE'S WAVING TO. A WAVE AND A FROWN DIDNT WORK. LET ME KNOW -KAV
Not a frown, but not such a smile either. Think of that wave more as a "yes, I see you" than a "Why hello!". Again, if you can make it look right, then do it. If not, it is not a killer.