This first image lacks the drama and mood that it needs. Everything is too even and stable. Max doesn't even seem to be walking, as both his feet are firmly planted on the ground. It seems, though, like you already knew everything I was going to say, because this next image effectively nails that drama. So I will ask you, what is the difference between the two, and how do we make the first more like the second?
One thought, have Max only part way through the door. If it were only open about a foot and a half, then Max would really seem to be creeping.
I have to redraw that entire splash page???? I'm really hating splashes-i always have to redraw them. send me a pic of something that you envision dude. And why would he be walking-the natural action when breaking and entering is to enter and pause for sounds....I just dont get it dude.
what about an inset panel?
I like this second one quite a bit. Though, I had some ideas about the shadows in here. In this panel they are looking very Noir. That is the world that Max comes from, and the world where Hourglass used to play. But this is her home. The place where she used to go to sleep, and live her normal life. This is the place for soft shadows. That will make Max's intrusion all the more foul.
Hmmm.. Neat, but not quite right. Maybe more appropriate for when Hourglass is losing it.